Some brides have two or three close friends or sisters and find
it difficult if not impossible to select only ONE Maid or Matron
of Honor. What's the solution? Have two or even three women as your
Maids or Matrons-of-Honor.
Here are a few tips:
Try to divide the duties up so that no one feels left out! For
instance, have one hold the ring or your bouquet during the ceremony
and another arrange your gown or you can have both of them arrange
your gown.
Try to divide up the duties before the wedding too, such as who
will help with flowers, invitations, favors, etc. Because everyone
is so busy today, your Maids of Honor may find it helpful to share
tasks.
Or, you can have your Maids of Honor share equally in everything.
However, this can sometimes be a more difficult alternative for
the bride to manage. (Three schedules to coordinate instead of two)
In your wedding program, list both or all as Maids or Matrons-of-Honor.
Who should be listed first? This can be done alphabetically or by
age.
Some brides also choose to include a few special words in their
program about why you chose more than one.
Who escorts both Maids of Honor back down the aisle after the ceremony?
Have the best man escort one on each arm.
PICKING THE PERFECT WEDDING DATE
Season
Weather affects your wedding's style and location, and may set a
completely different mood. If it's scalding outside, or it's 25
degrees below 0, people will behave differently. Consider your wedding
parties personality, then choose your season accordingly: Free-spirited
fun, sun soaked settings, hot and sweaty dirty dancing: Stick with
summer. Rich colors, burning leaves, college football game memories:
Fall's for you. Grand, snowfall, holiday sparkle: You can only be
wed in winter. Freshness, pastels, and fresh flowers bouquet: Spring's
your thing
Symbolism
How romantic would it be to marry on the date your eyes first met,
on the date you officially became a couple, on your grandparents
anniversary, your fiancée's birthday You may not be able
to marry on the exact day you want -- your church may be booked
or that special date falls on a Monday -- but you can probably get
pretty close. Make sure you tell your guests about any significance
of the timing in your programs!
Holiday
If you've always wanted a Christmas wedding, or you're hot for a
heart-covered wedding cake, sounds like you're a holiday wedding
couple. If you're Irish, opt for March, when everyone is already
in the St. Patty's Day spirit. Try a wedding party in pastels and
an Easter egg hunt in March or April. Have a Fourth of July celebration
with flags, barbecue, and fireworks. Memories of meeting at college
and holding hands on a blustery fall day. A football theme may be
the way to go in your November wedding A bonus! Some holidays fall
on long weekends, which might make it easier for out-of-town guests
to attend.
Price
Budget may affect your choice. June, August and September are popular
times to marry, so, prices are inevitably higher. But if you're
planning a wedding in January, March, or December, it may cost less
because 40 other couples aren't lined up behind you offering to
pay top dollar. Days of the week also matter: Saturday nights carry
a hefty price tag, but marry during the week and venues may even
bid against each other to get your business!
Don't Try To Guess Your Guests… ASK
Speaking of guests: If you have limited preferences, you may want
to ask closest guests about date conflicts and plan accordingly.
Be forewarned that this is a slippery slope if you ask anyone outside
your essential circle of parents, siblings, maid/matron of honor,
and best man. Keep it simple and don't budge once the date's set.
No-No Days
There are definitely wedding dates to avoid. Christmas Eve is probably
not a great day your guest may have trouble making it! No matter
what your career, you probably have your own crunch time at work,
so don't marry then. You'll either be stressed or you won't be allowed
to take off for your honeymoon. Also, your religion may dictate
some times of year, or even days of the week, that are off-limits.
Happy Planning!
PLANNING
YOUR WEDDING FROM OUT OF TOWN
So
throwing a dinner party for 300 people, coordinating eight bridesmaids,
six groomsmen, a videographer, a DJ, and two mothers-in-law isn't
enough for you two. You had to throw the long-distance thing into
it, too? Everyone thinks you're out of your mind. You're attempting
the impossible -- planning your wedding in a town you don't (or
no longer) live in -- and they can't wait to see you pull this one
off. Let's Roll!
Chill
Get a handle on things early on. After all, you're competing in
the Olympics of wedding planning, the long-distance affair. Be organized.
Pre-think everything. Taking a trip to your wedding city? Get on
the phone first. Every trip should be one fat to-do list of appointments
with wedding people. Don't dawdle or procrastinate -- you have limited
time actually in the wedding city. You need to be twice as organized
as
a local couple.
Dole Out The Role
Accept help, and delegate work from anyone who offers -- especially
those who live in your wedding city. If they are going to be at
the wedding, then they can have a job. If they have an opinion,
they can make a decision (with input from you, of course!). Put
each bridesmaid on a mission: One can find your florist, another
your DJ, and another your photographer.
Distance: A good thing?
You can use the situation to your advantage. You can't spend forever
making up your mind. You've got a strict time frame to work within,
and you need to make decisions quickly. You'll find that if you
give yourselves one weekend to find a reception site, you'll find
one. Distance will make you decisive.
Wedding Gear
Weddings come with stuff (the guest book, gifts for the bridesmaids,
your shoes, and much more), and getting that stuff to and from your
wedding city can be a challenge. Don't let it be. When you're there
having your final meeting with your caterer, etc., bring some wedding
gear with you. Find a place to store things -- your sister's, your
honey's parents -- the more you have waiting for you, the less you'll
have to worry about come the week of the wedding. And pack smart.
Whatever you buy to bring with you, you have to lug along. And,
don't forget to allow ample room for The Dress. As far as wedding
gifts, if you've got a ton to take home, maybe there's someone going
back to the city you live in that can take them there and keep them
for you until after the honeymoon -- or even drop them at your home
for you. Find this stuff out before the wedding; you'll have a plan
of action if you need it.
Finishing Touches
With a long-distance wedding it can feel like you have twice as
much to plan -- but don't forget to plan for yourselves. Brides:
Book the hair and make-up thing far in advance. Like everything
else, this takes forethought. You'll have to scout out your place,
and do a trial run on a visit to the wedding city. (Grooms, be sure
you get a haircut before you leave for the wedding, too.) Of all
the things on your list, make your big-day look a high priority.
No matter how many people rave about how smoothly everything went,
all you really want to hear is how great you looked!
Relax
It is your wedding day and you are the only one who will notice
that the ice in the bowl that was supposed to be tinted blue is
actually red! Have fun your day goes by so fast!
WEDDING GUEST ATTIRE
We have all seen it! That person who is dressed inappropriately
at a wedding. Don't be the "Main Attraction" at the next
wedding you attend. Here are a few simple RULES for wedding guest
attire. Don't get caught in inappropriate attire. Here are a few
pointers....
Semi-formal is the trickiest of all dress codes. Usually it means
that tuxes are not required, nor are long dresses. An evening wedding
(after 6 PM) would still dictate dark suits for him, and a cocktail
dress for her. Daytime semi-formal events mean a suit for him and
an appropriate short dress or dressy suit for her.
Female Wedding Guests
Very Formal Daytime - Floor length dress or gown
Semi-Formal Daytime - Knee-length or short dress or suit
Informal Daytime - Nice afternoon dress
Very Formal Evening - Formal, floor-length gown or evening dress
Semi-Formal Evening - Evening cocktail dress
Informal Evening - Cocktail dress
Male Wedding Guests
Very Formal Daytime - Very dark, conservative three-piece suit
Semi-Formal Daytime - Dark, three-piece suit
Informal Daytime - Dark, three-piece suit
Very Formal Evening - Black Tuxedos (Black Tie)
Semi-Formal Evening - Dark, conservative three-piece suit
Informal Evening - Dark, three-piece suit
Do & Don't
Don't wear white because it competes with the bride. It is her
day and there are plenty of other colors available.
Don't wear black or sequins during the daytime.
Don't worry about wearing the same colors as the bridesmaids or
mothers. You can't possibly coordinate with everyone in the wedding
party.
Do wear something feminine and appropriate. Clubwear and overtly
sexy clothing (strapless, see-through, etc) doesn't belong at a
wedding. If you have to ask if it's appropriate, it probably isn't.
Don't wear opera-length gloves (to top of arm) with anything but
sleeveless or strapless gowns.
Do take off gloves to eat or drink.
Do use good judgment if the invitation doesn't specify the formality
of the event. A pastel suit or soft floral dress for daytime or
a little black dress for evening (after 6 p.m.) will take you almost
anywhere. If you are not sure, you can always ask the bride and
groom for specifics.
QUICK TIPS
Celebrate your joy with a donation to your favorite charity. Have
your best man or maid of honor mail it on the day of your wedding.
Treat guests to luxury touches in the restrooms: heart-shaped soaps,
pretty paper guest-towels.
If your officiator will allow it, ask a special family representative
to begin the ceremony by welcoming your guests and explaining the
meaning of what will follow.
Update the charming Quaker tradition of having all the guests sign
the register as witnesses by inviting them to sign a calligraphic
poster of your wedding vows.
Rather than having the groom simply appear at the
top of the aisle just prior to the ceremony, as is common in most
Christian weddings, consider having him escort the bride's mother
up the aisle in a quiet salute to the joining of the two families.
